Its 2 AM and you are awoken from your slumber by the intrusive ring of your telephone. As you reach for the phone you are starting to get a little anxious because you are now starting to realize how late it is. Who could it be? Are mom and dad in trouble? Has a relative died? Your heart begins to race in anticipation. You answer your phone with an apprehensive "Hello", only to hear: "Hi, you have a very important phone call from XYZ Corporation. Please hold for the next available customer representative." This is when you start to go ballistic! You slam the phone down and stew for about 30 to 60 minutes after. You finally get to sleep, if you are lucky at all.

This is just an example of what could and may have happened to you. Your experience with telemarketers may have been a little different, but probably just as annoying. It may have been right in the middle of having a dinner party for some colleagues and your boss. Or perhaps, right in the middle of your best pitch to your boss, the phone rings. You must answer it because your daughter is on her first date with the captain of the football team. She may not be happy and may need a ride home, you think to yourself, but when you answer the phone, you find some computer generated nonsense. It may be something as trivial as interrupting dinner or your favorite movie on television, but don't you wish that you could get revenge on these bottom feeders? Well dear ones, I have the answer! Not only do I know how to get revenge, but I also know how to make a butt-load of money off of these scum in the process!

Here is the deal. The first thing you do is call the phone company and get four more lines set up in your name (four just to start, you will want to add more after you make your first hundred thousand), all to be answered at your home phone. (A little hint here: try to get the most used numbers that you can find, such as numbers that may have been used by a businesses before with similar digits at the end.) (Example: 251-1100). Second, go out and buy a phone that can handle multiple phone lines (you know the ones I am talking about, with all the buttons). Third, go on the Internet and sign up for everything you can find. (Make sure you list one of the four numbers that you just signed up for on the forms.) Fourth, go to all the trade shows, boat shows, art shows and any other kind of shows that you can think of and sign up for any free offer that you can lay your hands on. Credit card applications are a great way to get your numbers out there. Get your numbers onto as many forms as possible, this way they get sold to other companies and they in turn sell them to others. This may seem counterproductive; since most of us don’t want telemarketers to call us, but in this case, we do want them to call. One other thing is, always keep a home phone number for yourself, secret and for private use only.

Now comes the work that is involved with the new business that you have just started up. You answer the phone when it rings, and believe me, it will ring off the hook. When you answer the phone, take down the person’s name that is calling and the company name. Jot all this down, along with the time, which "line number" they called on and date of the call. When answering the person that is calling you, just state that you want them to take your name and number off there "call list." Once you have done this, if the company calls you again, you can take them to court and win a settlement of $500 from them. That is $500 for each infraction!

So if someone calls you from XYZ company five times in one month, that is two thousand dollars of profit for your new company! The first call from XYZ company will be the one where you tell them that you don’t want them to call you but from there on, it is all gravy. Whether you know it or not, there is a law that allows a person to ask a telemarketer not to call your home. If that company does not comply, they can be fined $500 for each infraction. It doesn't even matter if it isn't the same person that has contacted you in the past, as long at is from the same company.

With this in the back of your mind, think about some of these big telemarketing corporations and how bad there "In House" communications are. They will never get the message fast enough to stop you from making a ton of cash from their sleazy enterprises. Not that they bother telling each other that you don’t want anymore phone calls anyway, they really could care less and will call you no matter if you want them to or not. Sometimes when faced with court fines, some companies will not want to go to court and will just cut you a check and settle out of court. How beautiful is that? All you do is answer the phone a few times and make two grand.

Another thing that you can do to make your new company more money is to call it something that sounds unlike a real business, such as "Smith Residence". This will be good when they call you and you answer the phone, "Smith Residence", it sounds like a real home and not a business. This way they don't get wise to the fact that you may be trying to make money from their annoying calls.

If you decide to start out in a venture of this fashion, I suggest that you check the laws in your state to see the legality of it all and to find out the maximum amount of the award that can be afforded to you. If you decide to go into this kind of business, remember that you are performing a service to the general public. You can think of yourself as a humanitarian as well as a wise entrepreneur, since no one wants these annoying calls (except for you, of course). You can sleep well at night knowing that you are doing your best to stamp out these "communication vermin" and their annoying habits.